Excalibur, Once Again
by Kotohime Haku
Summary: This time, Lenalee Lee and Lavi meets Excalibur. Sequel to Excalibur.


**Excalibur, Once Again**

Komui sipped his coffee peacefully until he heard a knock. "Come in," he says, putting his coffee mug down.

The door opened and there revealed Lenalee Lee and Lavi.

"Nii-san, did you call us?" Lenalee said, coming in with Lavi behind.

"Yes," said Komui and straightened up in his chair. "I have a mission for both of you."

Lenalee straightened her back as well, prepared for the mission. Lavi simply slouched on his back as always, hands tucked into his pockets.

"It's an extremely serious mission that even Kanda and Allen couldn't do."

Both Exorcist's eyes widened. _Allen _and _Kanda_ couldn't complete it? How serious is this mission?

"Komui, tell us now," Lavi said. "Tell us the mission." Even though he's a Bookman, he still couldn't believe his own ears.

Komui nodded. Then, in one deep breath, he told the mission…

* * *

><p>"So…" Lavi began. "…why a cave?"<p>

Lenalee smiled awkwardly. "W-Who knows…" She made her way towards this blue-like cave with a pool of shallow water on the ground.

Lavi frowned as he took a step forward. Ugh, the water soaked his shoes and now it's hard to move! He grunted uncomfortably, but he was amazed at the cave. As a Bookman after all, he's always curious, so who cares about how uncomfortable it is!

"Ah, Lavi! Look!"

Upon from hearing Lenalee, he snapped his head to where the girl Exorcist pointed.

It was as if he had entered a different.

The atmosphere felt so different from the cold cave he was in earlier. It was practically empty, but in the middle, there was a beautiful sword stuck on a rock, but the sunlight shining down on it made the sword glisten.

He had never seen such a beautiful sword. Thus, his Bookman instincts took over as he dashed over to the sword and began to observe it like a maniac.

"L-Lavi!" Lenalee shouted. "We don't know if that sword is dangerous or not!"

"It'll be fine!" Lavi answered back, poking the sword. "Damn, I wanna take this home… I wonder if I can pull this out…?" His hands reached for the sword's hilt.

"Don't!" Lenalee screamed. "Don't Lavi—"

"Ah."

Lavi slid the sword out easily.

They froze in their position with Lenalee running towards Lavi, and Lavi crouched down with the sword in his hand in mid-air.

"W-W-What! T-The sword—it-it came out t-too easily, w-what the—!" As Lavi is trying to make out a sentence and Lenalee beside him, the sword suddenly started to glow, and then shine a bright golden light.

Immediately sensing danger, Lavi threw the sword away reached for Lenalee, "Lenalee, get down!" and pushed both of them down for cover.

They both squeezed their eyes tightly, waiting for the impact. Seeing how none came, they both warily peeked through their eyes.

"A-Are we sa—" Lenalee began. Until…

"Excalibur~ Excalibur~ From the United Kingdom, I'm looking him, I'm going to California~~! Excalibuuur~ Excalibuuur~"

The Booman and the younger Lee sister stared at this weird looking creature with blank, dejected eyes.

As the creature waltzed towards their way with its cane, it continued to sing. "Excalibuur~ Excalibuur~ From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him, I'm going to Californiaaaaa~~! Excalibuur~~ Excalibur!" And then sharply pointed his cane at the two.

They both simply stared with dejected eyes.

Lenalee: _What is this? Is it some new specie?_

Lavi: _What the heck… It can sing? Is it some mutated animal? _

"Oi," the creature said.

Yes. It's none other than Excalibur!

"You want to hear? My story."

Lenalee was the first one to snap out of it. "W-Wait! We're here for someone called Excalibur—"

"My story began a few years ago, when I was still at the Black Order. Yes, I was an exorcist there, and I was in love with a beautiful Exorcist there—"

"Hold it!" Lavi shouted. "We don't ha—"

"Quiet!" Excalibur shouted, pointing his cane at him. "Don't interrupt when I am speaking! Anyways, I was the lone wolf there at the Black Order. No one would talk to me, and even when I completed my missions, the Finders wouldn't congratulate me, the fellow Exorcists didn't say a thing to me, the chef, the higher-ups, no one would! Ah, can you understand this sadness! You can't! No one would understand my pain! Ahh, but then, that was then when I met her, yes, she was so beautiful… She was the first person to come up to me and talk to me, yes, with her long silky black hair that kissed her shoulders and went down, ah, yes—"

"What are you talking about?" Lavi asked innocently.

Excalibur went right on. "—she had beautiful lips and warm auburn eyes, ahh, how Oriental! Then she offered me some of her food and fed me! Do you know what that is? It's an indirect kiss! Ah, how I longed for her cool lips… And then she would smile at me and say sweetly in my ear, 'Is it good?' Ah, it was wonderful! I was on cloud nine—"

"Klaude Nyne?" Lenalee asked. She was just a _bit_ curious to listen. Although she admits truthfully that he is _kind of _annoying.

"Not her!" Excalibur scolded. "I'm talking about another women! Anyways, ever since that day, we've been doing missions together, eating together, went shopping around town, and it was just great! I would always be by her side whenever we fought and went on missions, and then when she was about to be depressed, I would always gently embrace her from behind and then she would sob so cutely in my arms, ahh—"

Lavi's ears twitched. Was this creature lying? Is he lying? He has to be! What kind of women would fall for this creature? Fall for this red-head instead!

"Then one night, when we completed this huge mission, everyone was celebrating. Yes, everyone got drunk and toasting, it was so warm there! Everyone was so close to each other, laughing like they never did any fighting, but here I was, in the corner, drinking all by myself… That was then she came—she came in and drunk with me! It was as if we were in our own little world, on a Sunday morning, enjoying a picnic… And then as she reached for another bottle of wine, I grabbed it for her instead. 'Thank you,' she said, until I cut her off with a kiss. I knew I was drunk, and then she slowly responded, and then we started to hug, and then we made our way into our room and then we fell on the be—"

"WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Lavi shouted, shutting Lenalee's ears.

"Eh? What happened Lavi?"

"THAT SHOULD BE RATED 18 AND UP!"

"SHUT UP!" Excalibur shouted back, flicking Lavi's forehead with his cane. "Like I said, don't interrupt me!"

"WE HAVE A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD HERE!" Lavi shouted, rubbing his forehead.

Excalibur ignored him. "Then, she sweetly started to take my hat away, and then I sang to her ear, 'Excalibur~ Excalibur~"

"WEREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME!"

"Eh? What's going on?" Lenalee asked innocently. "Lavi, take your hands away! I want to hear!"

"NO! Lenalee, you shouldn't be hearing this! This guy is bad influence on you!"

"What did you say? I can't hear."

"AGH, FORGET IT!" Lavi pulled his hands away from Lenalee's ears and then reached for his hammer. "In that case, I'll just have to use this… Grow…Grow…GROW!" Then the hammer was enlarged thrice bigger than Lavi. The red-head twirled the hammer above his head. "Fire S—" The big red stamp of 'Fire' burned on his hammer.

Excalibur's eyes glinted as he skillfully jumped into the air, poked the hammer with his feet, and the hammer immediately shrunk.

Lavi's eyes widened. "Wha—My hammer—"

"Fool!" Excalibur says, pointing his cane at Lavi, once again. He stepped on top of Lavi, looking very superior. "What can a mere hammer do in battles? Just because you have that Fire Seal, doesn't necessarily mean you already won the battle!"

Lavi was irked by this. This Innocence is _his _weapon! "You—"

"Fool! Quiet!" Excalibur kicked him in the face.

"Lavi!" Lenalee shouted. "Innocence, acti—" Her Dark Boots got ready, until…once again…

"Fool!" Excalibur shouted, directing his cane at Lenalee. "What can mere _shoes _do in battle? What, you're going to kick them? As if that'll harm them!"

"E-Eh?" Lenalee was stunned, but also confused.

"Boots and hammer! How can you have those in battles? What can they do? Squash them? Kick them? Nonsense! What you need is a sword! A _sword! _And when you speak of swords…" Excalibur started to glow. Both Exorcist shielded their eyes from the blinding light. Then, when the light got stronger and stronger, and weaker and weaker, they took their hands away and then…

"…you need me, Excalibur!"

Both Lenalee and Lavi gasped. I-It was that beautiful sword from earlier!

"I will guide you to the path of victory! Now, take me, both of you! Discard those useless weapons and come to me! Now! Leap your arms into me!"

"We…we found it, Lavi…" Lenalee muttered.

"Yea…we did…"

"Yes, you did! I'm glad you found me, Excalibur! Now, now that you've accepted me…" he immediately transformed into his weird creature form. "…you must agree to these conditions!" he threw a thick stack of paper at them.

Curiously, the two peeked at it.

"Rule Number 1: My morning starts with a cup of coffee with cream," Lavi read.

"Indeed!" says Excalibur. "Always, my mornings can't start without coffee with cream!"

Lenalee flipped through the pages. "Rule Number 58: Never talk when I am humming to myself." Lenalee tilted her head to the side, thoroughly perplexed at what the heck this book is saying.

"Yes! Whether I'm talking or humming, do **not **interrupt!" Excalibur said, crossing his arms.

Lavi flipped through some more pages. "Celebrate Excalibur's birthday in a grand style?"

"Everyday is my birthday! Thus, you must perform this task daily!"

"Only the finest toilet is acceptable?" Lenalee read.

"I wouldn't want my behind to be infected with some weird disease."

Lavi and Lenalee flipped through more pages. "Never put carrots in my meal?" Lavi exclaimed.

"Meisters must eat everything off their plates?" Lenalee continued.

"Attending to my five hour story telling?"

"Always step here steps behind me?"

"Praise Excalibur all the time?"

Both of them glanced at each other before directing their attention at Excalibur, who was folding his hands and standing on top of the rock mightily.

"What is this? This must be some kind of dumb joke!" Lavi exclaimed like a child. "Why should we do all this?"

"If you want to use me, then you must accept these conditions," explained the creature.

"But we never said we're going to use you…" Lenalee said softly.

"Nonsense! Then why did you come here for!"

"We're on a mission to get you back," Lavi explained. "Now come with us Excalibur. If you show any resistance, we'll use our Inno—GAH!" Lavi was kicked in the face once again by Excalibur.

"FOOL!" he shouted. Then he landed onto the floor and then said calmly, "But if you want me _this _badly, then I suppose it's ok…"

Lenalee clapped her hands in delight. "That's great! Then, come—"

"But it's not going to be for free!" Excalibur suddenly exclaimed with a glint. "First, you must listen to my song, and then my story again!"

The redhead's eyes shot opened. "THAT STORY IS NOT APPROPRIATE!"

"Quiet fool!" Excalibur snapped. "First, I'll sing. Excalibur~ Excalibur~ From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him, I'm going to California~~ Excalibuuur~ Excalibur!" His dancing was halted in the middle at the end of his song.

Lenalee and Lavi simply sat there.

"Excalibur~~ Excalibur~~" He resumed he song and dance. "From the United Kingdom—"

Five minutes later.

"Excalibur! Excalibur! From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him—"

Ten minutes later.

"—I'm going to Californiaaa~~"

Yet another five minu—

Lavi snapped.

"YOU'VE BEEN SINGING FOR TWENTY MINUTES ALREADY! AND IT'S THE SAME SONG OVER AND OVER!"

"Fool! Didn't I say not to interrupt me while I'm humming and talking!"

"THAT'S SINGING! YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT SINGING!"

"Calm down Lavi!" Lenalee said, grabbing his shirt. "This is a mission."

Lavi growled in frustration, but he obediently sat down.

"Now that my song is over, I shall now begin my story. I was an exorcist…"

And so Excalibur began to tell his story again, with Lavi covering Lenalee's ears, and then in the middle of the story, Lavi had finally lost it.

"AHHH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" Lavi grabbed Lenalee by the arm and stalked his way off. "THIS GUY IS AN IDIOT!"

"L-Lavi! You can't just—"

"That's right!" Excalibur stormed in. "If you want me, then listen to my story first!"

Lavi glared at Excalibur. "_I'd rather die._" he said icily before storming right out of the cave.

"Wait! Listen to my song at least! Excalibur~ Excalibur~ From the—"

"SHUT UUUUPPP!"

* * *

><p>"…mmm…s-shut up…don't sing that song anymore…don't…"<p>

"Is he alright?"

"Y-Yea…h-he's just a little stressed out…"

"E-Excalibur~ Excalibur~ F-From—GASP!" Lavi woke up and shot right up from his bed, drenched in sweat.

"L-Lavi!" Lenalee said, relieved. "I'm so glad… You wouldn't wake up, and you kept mumbling and moaning…"

"E-Eh… S-So it was all a dream…?" Lavi mumbled.

Then he saw Komui from the corner of his eye. "Komui…"

He gave him a small smile. "Welcome back, Lavi."

"Y-Yea… I'm back…" Lavi grinned. He was glad. So it was just a dream, huh—

"Not necessarily so!" The door slammed open.

Lavi's grin turned into a stone and froze right there.

This weird looking creature was walking towards his way and jumped onto his bed, pointing his cane at him. "Happy now? I came along with you! Now, in exchange, listen to my song. Excalibur~" he began to dance on top of Lavi. "From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him—"

Lavi felt light-headed. He felt dizzy. Despite all that, he managed to shout out one more thing before he collapsed: "SHUT UP!"


End file.
